Yesterday was the 1 year mark of the day Carter came home from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. For some reason, that date seems just as monumental to me as his actual birthday. When Carter was born, we were so excited to meet our little boy...but it doesn't seem like our life with him really started until we brought him home. I know 10 days in the NICU is really a short period of time. Most of the babies there had been there for months. Many of them were in incubators and were not allowed to be touched by their parents. Most of the babies were extremely premature and extremely sick. I remember one baby boy at the end of the hall specifically. His grandma came every afternoon and rocked him for hours. But many of the other children didn't have parents there with them. Cary asked one of our nurses why so many of the kids didn't have parents there and she said that it was just too difficult. As I said, most of these babies were really sick, and it was really hard for the parents to see their child like that. And many of the families had other children at home to care for. Unlike Cary and I, who had time off work and just this new baby to worry about, most of the other families had to carry on with their lives.
I have great memories from the Mercy NICU. At first, it seemed like a nightmare that our baby had to be hooked up to machines and couldn't leave that tiny room. I remember initially hoping that he'd only be there for 3 days. And then 7 days. And then that we'd really be able to take him home after 10 days. I hated hearing him scream as they couldn't get the IV in. And I was constantly nervous about the doctor's next visit. It felt like we were always waiting... waiting for test results, waiting to hear what those results meant, waiting to see the doctor, waiting to go home. But like I said, I have great memories from that time. Carter's room was small, dimly lit, and filled with love. The first day, Cary held Carter for almost 12 hours in that room. I was there too...but I would go back to the second floor to my room to sleep. At one point, my mom told Cary that he really needed to leave the room for a bit. He hadn't seen sunlight that day. But Cary had no idea that an entire day had passed. There was no TV or radio, but looking at Carter was enough entertainment for him. After three days, I was discharged from the hospital. That meant that we no longer had a room to sleep in or our own bathroom or shower. I cried alot that day... There was no way I was going home without our baby. So Cary and I set up camp in Carter's room. We brought in our laptop and listened to music or browsed the internet. Cary went to several meetings throughout the week, and I would sit in the room and read magazines or talk to whoever came to visit us. Our guests at the NICU included our parents and siblings (many times!), Cary's grandma Sandy, my uncle Steve, aunt Linda and cousin Jordan, Alicia and Sarah, the Donnenwerth's, the Augusts, Sean and Jess, Drew Carlson, Drew and Melissa, Deacon O'Brien, and Marg from St. Mark's church.
The days would go like this for us: We'd wake up around 6:00 to a phone call from Cary's dad. He would somehow find out the test results from the day before and would call us right away. He'd explain what those results meant and he always made us feel better...even if the results weren't great. (I should also mention at this point that Tony was a life-saver during this time. I could write an entire blog about how he helped Carter even get admitted into the NICU. He came to the hospital within an hour after Carter was born. He called our pediatrician and followed up constantly on Carter's progress. And he called us many times throughout the day. You could tell that he felt a strong resposibility to be there for us. He just really helped get us through that tough time...and he's the perfect God-father for Carter!) Back to our day... Then Cary and I would walk to the 2nd floor Starbuck's. We might find a way to shower that day, either in our room before we were discharged, we'd run home quickly, or in the NICU family room. Then we'd just sit with Carter. Every three hours a nurse would come in to do various tests. They taught us how to do the tests and that was nice. We would take his temperture and replace the monitor on his foot and weigh his diapers. And of course every three hours I would attempt to breast feed. That was a process in itself. In between feedings and nurse visits, we'd have a guest come. We had guests bring us lunch and dinner and snacks. My mom drove to Des Moines almost every day just to sit with us. Then in the late afternoon, Cary's parents would come. We'd go to dinner while they sat with Carter, or Cary and I would go to the cafeteria or McDonalds, and then we'd be right back there in the room. Some nights Cary and I would just walk the hospital and talk. Then, at bedtime, we'd pull out our little bench of a bed and try to make it as cozy as possible. We'd watch a movie on Tony and Kelly's DVD player and try to get some sleep. Cary usually ended up sleeping in the rocker while I slept on the bench. And then another day would come.
We celebrated New Year's Eve in the NICU. I remember Josh and Lauren came to visit us that afternoon. Holly dropped off a bag full of New Year's apparel - plastic champagne glasses and sparkling white grape juice. So Cary and I rang in 2008 sitting in the NICU lobby, eating Big Tomato pizza and drinking white grape juice. It was one of the best New Year's ever!
The last two nights we slept at home. Our parents told us we had to. They made us. It was like it was an intervention....the nurses even said so. And so we drove home around 9:00 and got a good nights' sleep. And on January 5th, we went back to the NICU with a car seat. We were so ready to bring our little guy home.
Those are all great memories. It was an uncertain time for us and I was constantly worried, but that was a week unlike any other. Our son was born and he was beautiful. I could spend hours just starring at his dimpled chin and dark eyes. Although we were forced to be in a hospital, it was a great bonding week for our new family. I would relive that week in a heartbeat.
So thanks to all of our family and friends who visited and called. And thanks to our nurses: Laura, Melissa, Sarah, Libby, and many others. And thanks to God for blessing us with this wonderful baby boy!
I have great memories from the Mercy NICU. At first, it seemed like a nightmare that our baby had to be hooked up to machines and couldn't leave that tiny room. I remember initially hoping that he'd only be there for 3 days. And then 7 days. And then that we'd really be able to take him home after 10 days. I hated hearing him scream as they couldn't get the IV in. And I was constantly nervous about the doctor's next visit. It felt like we were always waiting... waiting for test results, waiting to hear what those results meant, waiting to see the doctor, waiting to go home. But like I said, I have great memories from that time. Carter's room was small, dimly lit, and filled with love. The first day, Cary held Carter for almost 12 hours in that room. I was there too...but I would go back to the second floor to my room to sleep. At one point, my mom told Cary that he really needed to leave the room for a bit. He hadn't seen sunlight that day. But Cary had no idea that an entire day had passed. There was no TV or radio, but looking at Carter was enough entertainment for him. After three days, I was discharged from the hospital. That meant that we no longer had a room to sleep in or our own bathroom or shower. I cried alot that day... There was no way I was going home without our baby. So Cary and I set up camp in Carter's room. We brought in our laptop and listened to music or browsed the internet. Cary went to several meetings throughout the week, and I would sit in the room and read magazines or talk to whoever came to visit us. Our guests at the NICU included our parents and siblings (many times!), Cary's grandma Sandy, my uncle Steve, aunt Linda and cousin Jordan, Alicia and Sarah, the Donnenwerth's, the Augusts, Sean and Jess, Drew Carlson, Drew and Melissa, Deacon O'Brien, and Marg from St. Mark's church.
The days would go like this for us: We'd wake up around 6:00 to a phone call from Cary's dad. He would somehow find out the test results from the day before and would call us right away. He'd explain what those results meant and he always made us feel better...even if the results weren't great. (I should also mention at this point that Tony was a life-saver during this time. I could write an entire blog about how he helped Carter even get admitted into the NICU. He came to the hospital within an hour after Carter was born. He called our pediatrician and followed up constantly on Carter's progress. And he called us many times throughout the day. You could tell that he felt a strong resposibility to be there for us. He just really helped get us through that tough time...and he's the perfect God-father for Carter!) Back to our day... Then Cary and I would walk to the 2nd floor Starbuck's. We might find a way to shower that day, either in our room before we were discharged, we'd run home quickly, or in the NICU family room. Then we'd just sit with Carter. Every three hours a nurse would come in to do various tests. They taught us how to do the tests and that was nice. We would take his temperture and replace the monitor on his foot and weigh his diapers. And of course every three hours I would attempt to breast feed. That was a process in itself. In between feedings and nurse visits, we'd have a guest come. We had guests bring us lunch and dinner and snacks. My mom drove to Des Moines almost every day just to sit with us. Then in the late afternoon, Cary's parents would come. We'd go to dinner while they sat with Carter, or Cary and I would go to the cafeteria or McDonalds, and then we'd be right back there in the room. Some nights Cary and I would just walk the hospital and talk. Then, at bedtime, we'd pull out our little bench of a bed and try to make it as cozy as possible. We'd watch a movie on Tony and Kelly's DVD player and try to get some sleep. Cary usually ended up sleeping in the rocker while I slept on the bench. And then another day would come.
We celebrated New Year's Eve in the NICU. I remember Josh and Lauren came to visit us that afternoon. Holly dropped off a bag full of New Year's apparel - plastic champagne glasses and sparkling white grape juice. So Cary and I rang in 2008 sitting in the NICU lobby, eating Big Tomato pizza and drinking white grape juice. It was one of the best New Year's ever!
The last two nights we slept at home. Our parents told us we had to. They made us. It was like it was an intervention....the nurses even said so. And so we drove home around 9:00 and got a good nights' sleep. And on January 5th, we went back to the NICU with a car seat. We were so ready to bring our little guy home.
Those are all great memories. It was an uncertain time for us and I was constantly worried, but that was a week unlike any other. Our son was born and he was beautiful. I could spend hours just starring at his dimpled chin and dark eyes. Although we were forced to be in a hospital, it was a great bonding week for our new family. I would relive that week in a heartbeat.
So thanks to all of our family and friends who visited and called. And thanks to our nurses: Laura, Melissa, Sarah, Libby, and many others. And thanks to God for blessing us with this wonderful baby boy!
1 comment:
This just brought tears to my eyes. I am so thankful that you have such a wonderful family and support system that were with you. I realized I didn't ever hear about your NICU experience. I guess we were both so busy with our new babies at the time to chat about what was going on in those first couple weeks So thank you for writing this. You and Cary are such strong parents and it is such a joy now to hear about Carter being a healthy active boy!
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